Ephemeral Industries

Hey Apple. How about adding a button to just let me transfer the...

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 23:52:58 -0500

Hey Apple. How about adding a button to just let me transfer the damn videos from here? Or at least show me what they are?

Very un-Apple, guys.

itricks.com: Penn Jillette Confirmed For Celebrity Apprentice

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:45:00 -0400

itricks.com: Penn Jillette Confirmed For Celebrity Apprentice:

If Penn Jillette is really on Celebrity Apprentice, my Tivo will face conflicting programming:

1) The Wish List set to record anything with Penn Jillette.

2) The Tivo’s standing instructions to destroy its own hard drive with thermite if it accidentally records anything with Donald Trump.

Apple and the Siri User

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 17:52:48 -0400

A Parable.

Salesman: “Hey, I’ve got this great new house for sale. Want to buy it?”

Customer: “Um, it looks like a fine house, but I’m happy with the one I have now so no thanks.”

Salesman: “But wait — I stole all your stuff and put it in this new house! NOW do you want to buy the new one?”

Customer: “…”

Denver’s Channel 4 reporting on the latest in supervillain...

Fri, 23 Sep 2011 00:07:44 -0400

Denver’s Channel 4 reporting on the latest in supervillain weaponry.

mollycrabapple: Sixty Six Project: 27 Larisa Fuchs Molly...

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 23:17:23 -0400

mollycrabapple:

Sixty Six Project: 27 Larisa Fuchs

Molly Crabapple’s “Sixty Six Project” demonstrates that she has at least one of the following superpowers:

1) Her portraits make everyone look brilliant and beautiful

2) She knows an awful lot of brilliant, beautiful people.

lonelysandwich: We still got it. So very delighted that this...

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 18:46:22 -0400

lonelysandwich:

We still got it.

So very delighted that this showed up in my Tumblr dashboard at about the same time as this gem from Rules for my Unborn Son:

499. Don’t miss the team photo.

"If the answer is that I wouldn’t want my daughter to do it, then I don’t mind the government passing..."

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 03:01:39 -0400

“If the answer is that I wouldn’t want my daughter to do it, then I don’t mind the government passing a law against it. I wouldn’t want my daughter to be a cocaine addict or a prostitute, so in spite of the fact that it would probably be more economically efficient to legalize drugs and prostitution subject to heavy regulation/taxation, I don’t mind those activities being illegal.”

- Steven D. Levitt, saving us from ourselves, on the Freakonomics blog (via Feministing)

I suppose I should give Levitt at least a little credit. Unlike the many writers and politicians who merely behave as if they think the government should treat all citizens like children, Levitt has the nerve to present an explicit defense of literal government paternalism.

Leavitt says that for things he wouldn’t want his daughter to do, he doesn’t mind that activity being illegal. Does he realize that some parental opinions would be less restrictive than his, and some would be far more restrictive? Whose “daughter test” is reasonable to apply? The one that prohibits marrying a poor man or a man of a different race? The one that criminalizes short skirts? The one that prohibits practicing a religion other than Mom and Dad’s?

Here’s my test for whether or not I mind if the government declares something illegal. If a behavior uses force, fraud or coercion to violate a non-consenting person’s right to life, liberty or property, and there is a constitutional basis for the government’s power to pass a law against it, then I don’t mind it being illegal. Otherwise, I do mind very much. Whether or not the law has a direct impact on me and my family. Principles are like that.

Review: Apple Smart Cover

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 16:12:26 -0400

I will admit that I had high hopes for the Smart Cover before it arrived on my desk, but I’m sorry to say that it has not quite lived up to its Magical, Revolutionary promises.

First, the good points: this product easily meets or exceeds the high standards of design, engineering and build quality that we have come to expect from Apple. The polyurethane material is very flexible between segments, and each segment itself wraps smoothly around a rigid interior that gives the entire device a sturdy feel and clean shape. The back is covered in microfiber cloth, with perhaps a bit less nap than I had expected but still luxurious.

The hinge is strong, as is its attachment to the polyurethane cover, and it appears to be manufactured to very precise tolerances. The hinge mechanism itself moves smoothly without ever appearing weak or flimsy.

Inside the hinge and the interior plates are powerful and well-aligned magnets that easily support the Smart Cover’s weight against a wide variety of steel surfaces. When the cover is rolled up, the magnets help hold it into a tight and stable triangle.

All of this is just fine, but the product seems to be missing one key component that I have come to expect in every Apple product: utility. What an I supposed to do with this device? How will it improve my life and work?

It is decorative, I suppose. (I chose the green polyurethane, which is pleasant if a bit lighter in shade than I would like.) It might also serve to hold large papers against my refrigerator. It may also be useful for erasing floppy discs (remember those?) or demagnetizing credit cards (which you should be shredding before disposal, making demagnetization superfluous). But none of these functions seems to justify the price tag, or the hype with which Apple launched this product.

Typically, Apple’s minimal documentation does not provide much help in suggesting how I might use this thing. As with most new Apple products, either you get it or you don’t. I guess I don’t get it.

Maybe I’ll feel differently about the Smart Cover in a couple of weeks, when Apple finally ships me my iPad 2.

Some Kind of Wrong

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 01:39:49 -0400

Okay, I’ve learned my lesson. Never again will I watch a movie on the TV Guide Channel.

First of all: A movie? On the TV Guide Channel? Yeah, I too was surprised when TiVo came up with that. But sure enough, they show movies on the TV Guide channel. Which means that the movie appears in a weird little upper-two-thirds letterbox, while the bottom of the screen shows a rolling grid that says “Here’s a bunch of BETTER stuff you could be watching!”

Second, and more important: There are some things you DO NOT DO when showing movies on TV. Foremost is, you DO NOT show Some Kind of Wonderful and cut out the closing credits, or cover them with a promo for another program. THIS IS SIMPLY NOT DONE.

There is a way this is supposed to happen. a RIGHT way this is supposed to happen:

(SPOILER WARNING if you’ve been in a coma since 1987)

Keith gives Watts the diamond earrings he got back from Amanda.
Watts says, “How do they look?”
Keith says, “You look good wearing my future.”
Meanwhile, Lick the Tins have started their heartfelt and beautiful cover of “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” which plays out until the very end of the credits.
Watts and Keith walk away down the street. Together.
I wipe something out of the corner of my eye, and growl at no one in particular: “What? No, I am NOT crying. That’s stupid. Shut up.”

That is how it is done. Every time this movie is shown. This is NON-NEGOTIABLE. TV Guide Channel, you are on notice.

merlin: Some time around 1996 or so, Bacon Ray did a handful of...

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 13:48:00 -0400

merlin:

Some time around 1996 or so, Bacon Ray did a handful of promo carts for Tallahassee’s awesome college radio station, V89. I think they still play them sometimes. Here’s one.

You’re listening to The Voice of Florida State,
WVFS, Tallahassee,
Eighty-nine point seven eff em—
Conveniently located next to NPR.

I was the lyricist and featured vocalist. You’re welcome.

So very, very cool. And for a great radio station, too.

I recently discovered WVFS myself thanks to their Artist Features program, specifically an outstanding program (MP3 link) about my current obsession Ghost Box.

As long as we’re talking about post-punk pop and the early days of MTV: Can we get a...

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 20:10:12 -0400

As long as we’re talking about post-punk pop and the early days of MTV:

Can we get a moratorium on advertising uses of “Kids in America” until those of us who actually were kids in America when the song was released are all dead? It’s a little disconcerting. Not to mention that it’s a pretty grim song with which to associate a brand of toaster-oven pizza rolls.

It’s not my birthday, or that of any of my family or friends,...

Sun, 13 Mar 2011 14:51:23 -0400

It’s not my birthday, or that of any of my family or friends, but nevertheless this song has been bouncing around my head all day.

This may have been the first thing I ever saw on MTV. In 1981 I definitely knew that Clare Grogan had the cutest voice I had ever heard from a human being.

For a few years there, this kind of Scottish and British post-punk pop and the cheap, crappy, enthusiastic videos that went with them were a big part of my world.

Really? Well. Yeah. OK. It is called “A Conversation On...

Sun, 13 Mar 2011 14:42:21 -0400

Really? Well. Yeah. OK. It is called “A Conversation On Cool,” and I guess a conversation has to include both sides.

Making Money on the Future

Thu, 10 Mar 2011 01:13:02 -0500

Been thinking more about HarperCollins’ goofy plan to make libraries re-license ebooks after 26 loans.

Okay, maybe “abject toads” was a little harsh. But still, it makes me crazy when companies go out of their way to cripple the fruits of a new technology, desperate to chain it down to the limitations of the past, simply because they already know how to charge money for the past and can’t be bothered to come up with a way to make money on the future.

And they do this at their peril, ignoring the fact that those who do figure out how to make money on the future are those who always win.

Clearly the model of a new license every 26 loans is ridiculous. At least it is ridiculous if the reason is that “it’s the way paper works.”

Can HarperCollins honestly not think of any other way to make money and stay in business while publishing ebooks?

Here’s a wild idea, using a term that’s been bounced around a lot lately: A subscription model. Let a library buy an annual subscription to HarperCollins ebooks. One annual fee could let the library initiate as many loans as they like over the course of a year. The publisher could set tiers based on total number of patrons served by the library overall, or tiers based on the number of distinct titles that can be accessed during the year. (That’s distinct titles, not individual loans.)

Maybe this is a terrible idea. Surely there are details I haven’t thought through. But the point is that a model like this, or a better one devised by someone smarter than me, would take advantage of those ways in which ebooks are superior to paper books. Cost-free and frictionless duplication and distribution means that libraries can avoid some of their biggest planning headaches — deciding exactly what titles to stock months ahead of time, deciding how many copies to buy, waiting for a truck to deliver them, and making sure there’s enough shelf space to keep them. And publishers can benefit from steady revenue rather than hoping for an annual blockbuster.

ebooks on borrowed time

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 00:32:59 -0500

ebooks on borrowed time:

nostrich:

Ebooks were supposed to be indestructible. Where you had disk-space, you had literature – in perpetuity. Which is bad news for publishers now deprived of that extra round of sales revenue engendered by books being dropped in baths.

HarperCollins has got wise to this: it has announced that US libraries will be allowed to lend ebooks only up to 26 times. Its sales president, Josh Marwell, believes that’s only fair: 26, he claims, is the average number of loans a print book would survive before having to be replaced. HarperCollins UK won’t rule out applying this ebook strategy to British libraries - and should it do so, it can expect a frustrated reaction. “Clearly, printed books last a lot longer than 26 loans,” says Philip Bradley, vice-president of the Chartered Institute of Library and Information Professionals.

This is the dumbest shit I have ever read. (I work for Collins — the British half of HarperCollins — incidentally, and this is far from the dumbest shit they are guilty of.)

Holy moly. This makes as much sense as

- limiting a car to the top speed of a horse-cart

- making sure the car literally falls to pieces when it reaches the end of a horse’s useful lifespan

- requiring that new medical techniques don’t work any faster, or last any longer, than old ones

- requiring that phone calls be transcribed and delivered by Western Union messengers

It also shows that some people at HarperCollins are abject toads. And that they are doomed.

Making your products arbitrarily and artificially less useful, less convenient and less attractive? Good luck with that.

I feel like I should apologise in advance for what is, right now, just about twenty-five minutes of...

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 12:58:07 -0500

I feel like I should apologise in advance for what is, right now, just about twenty-five minutes of incoherent shouting about ghosts and UFOs.

- Warren Ellis

Apologize? Sounds to me like a reason to get to Berlin.

Cool Dad

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 16:56:53 -0500

putthison:

Hey guys!

I’m gonna be a cool dad!

Awesome news. Congratulations.

Now’s the time to start looking for one of those tiny vintage tuxedos.

putthison: Put This On Episode 4: Grooming Jesse visits the...

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 18:29:35 -0500

putthison:

Put This On Episode 4: Grooming

Jesse visits the barber, a how-to for the classic wet shave and some guidance on avoiding and removing underarm yellowing in shirts.

iTunes / Vimeo / YouTube

Clothing Credits

Funding Credits

Episode Sponsors: Shirt.Woot.com / Instapaper

Related Posts

Another outstanding installment of PUT THIS ON.

A wet shave as demonstrated in this video is a delightful daily ritual. I’ve always preferred using a mug soap and brush for shave lather, and I like it even more since I began using the excellent shave soap from Porter’s Lotion of Bozeman Montana. (No relation to me, though I do like having my name on my shaving mug.)

Long ago I used to use a safety razor similar to Jesse’s. Since then I’ve tried a straight razor and a bunch of different Gillette high-concept multi-bladed gadgets. PUT THIS ON may have inspired me to try the safety razor again.

"This is where they lost me."

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 23:16:00 -0500

Here’s the piece we were listening to.

It lost them right around 2:30.

Me, I’ve been binging on Belbury Poly for more than a month now. Wonderful stuff. Go to Ghost Box Music and get some.

merlin: That’s my favorite (non-useful) 105 seconds in the...

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 15:15:06 -0500

merlin:

That’s my favorite (non-useful) 105 seconds in the latest episode of Back to Work.

Because everything is connected.¹

Just so you know? The lady with the gorillas was “Bob Fosse.” Bob Fosse. ↩

Absolutely beautiful. It’s like Back to Work briefly channeled YLNT.